Thank you so much. As a classic people pleaser, my husband actually bought a shirt that said "stop me before I volunteer again".
I used to hate the label "people pleaser" because it leans toward the praise of others and I genuinely felt that I was driven truly by my desire to be a blessing. I feel that is part of our purpose. Jesus told the disciples to love first, then share the gospel. Our caring actions soften the heart and prepare it for the truth of Christ's ultimate sacrifice.
Yet, the 'rush' of being known as the person you can count on to help, can easily become the motive. The clear sign for me was when I started over volunteering. Then the 'frazzled' and resentment comes in. Especially in a season of deep water where your reliability need goes beyond your ability to sustain it. Thank you for explaining this perfectly! God is using you (but don't let your head swell) lol
Great post! I have thought often about the phrase "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". That would presuppose that Jesus is showing us that we can't even really love others without at least thinking of ourselves a little. Not in a negative way but in a way to diagnosis how to treat others.
The command assumes that we love ourselves. I think there is a lot of confusion in the church around this point. The problem is not that self-love is inherently wrong, but that our loves become disordered. We are called to love God above all else and to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.
I needed this today! I’m reflecting and praying about my battle with people pleasing and making decisions by deciding which option makes me less uncomfortable. I made a small step towards changing this just this week. I chose to do something that I thought wouldn’t make someone else happy. Initially I didn’t want to do it but so glad I did!
Thank you for sharing. It is amazing to me how deep and pervasive the desire to please others is within us. I certainly see this in myself.
So many things that appear to be motivated by a desire to love others well are, at least in part, driven by our desire to manage our own negative emotions. We are so uncomfortable when people don’t like us, are upset with us, or are disappointed in us that we can be driven toward all kinds of service largely to minimize our own future discomfort.
It is uncomfortable to recognize this in ourselves, but I think it is necessary. We have to bring these motives into the light, acknowledge the emotions underneath them, and release them to God. Only then can He grow and mature us, and only then can those motives begin to loosen their hold on us.
Thank you so much. As a classic people pleaser, my husband actually bought a shirt that said "stop me before I volunteer again".
I used to hate the label "people pleaser" because it leans toward the praise of others and I genuinely felt that I was driven truly by my desire to be a blessing. I feel that is part of our purpose. Jesus told the disciples to love first, then share the gospel. Our caring actions soften the heart and prepare it for the truth of Christ's ultimate sacrifice.
Yet, the 'rush' of being known as the person you can count on to help, can easily become the motive. The clear sign for me was when I started over volunteering. Then the 'frazzled' and resentment comes in. Especially in a season of deep water where your reliability need goes beyond your ability to sustain it. Thank you for explaining this perfectly! God is using you (but don't let your head swell) lol
Great post! I have thought often about the phrase "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". That would presuppose that Jesus is showing us that we can't even really love others without at least thinking of ourselves a little. Not in a negative way but in a way to diagnosis how to treat others.
The command assumes that we love ourselves. I think there is a lot of confusion in the church around this point. The problem is not that self-love is inherently wrong, but that our loves become disordered. We are called to love God above all else and to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.
I needed this today! I’m reflecting and praying about my battle with people pleasing and making decisions by deciding which option makes me less uncomfortable. I made a small step towards changing this just this week. I chose to do something that I thought wouldn’t make someone else happy. Initially I didn’t want to do it but so glad I did!
Thank you for sharing. It is amazing to me how deep and pervasive the desire to please others is within us. I certainly see this in myself.
So many things that appear to be motivated by a desire to love others well are, at least in part, driven by our desire to manage our own negative emotions. We are so uncomfortable when people don’t like us, are upset with us, or are disappointed in us that we can be driven toward all kinds of service largely to minimize our own future discomfort.
It is uncomfortable to recognize this in ourselves, but I think it is necessary. We have to bring these motives into the light, acknowledge the emotions underneath them, and release them to God. Only then can He grow and mature us, and only then can those motives begin to loosen their hold on us.
So good!!!!!!